Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
“Get rid of all bitterness…”
— Ephesians 4:31 [NLT]
Bitterness is a deep-seated anger that takes root in our consciousness, quietly shaping our thoughts and actions. It breeds resentment, an emotional response triggered when we feel mistreated. If we allow bitterness to flourish within our minds and spirits, it has the potential to consume us. When left unchecked, bitterness can make forgiveness impossible, jeopardizing our relationships with others and God. Embracing a mindset free of bitterness is essential for our well-being and spiritual growth. Bitterness is poison. It has the power to make you angry with God. Are you angry with God? Don’t be; He has the antidote for bitterness, which is forgiveness.
What are the signs of bitterness?
This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next, they’ll be making him their king!”
— 1 Samuel 18:8-9 [NLT]
Anger can often be the root cause of bitterness, creating misunderstandings in relationships. The women celebrated David’s bravery, singing, “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!” (1 Samuel 18:7). This ignited Saul’s jealousy and rage. This praise, which Saul felt should have been directed toward himself, fueled his animosity toward David.
Even though David remained loyal, Saul’s bitterness drove him to try to take David’s life multiple times. This left David perplexed about the king’s hostility. This story illustrates that unaddressed anger can lead to destructive feelings. These feelings and actions can often emerge without clear communication of the underlying issues.
Jacob learned that Laban’s sons were grumbling: “He owes everything he owns to our father. All his wealth is at our father’s expense.” Soon, Jacob noticed a considerable cooling in Laban’s attitude toward him.
— Genesis 31:1-2 [TLB]
Bitterness breeds resentment, which often manifests in our tendency to blame others. We frequently harbor resentment because we mistakenly believe others have intended to offend us. Laban’s sons believed Jacob’s prosperity was due to his exploiting their father. This belief highlights how easily we can misinterpret others’ intentions.
While they were at Hazeroth, Miriam and Aaron criticized Moses because he had married a Cushite woman. They said, “Has the Lord spoken only through Moses? Hasn’t he spoken through us, too?” But the Lord heard them. — Numbers 12:1-2 [NLT]
Resentment can lead to a distorted focus on minor or irrelevant issues, resulting in critical attitudes. Miriam and Aaron harbored secret anger towards Moses for marrying a woman of African descent. Their resentment was unrelated to Moses’s role as a leader or God’s communication through him. Over time, their resentment evolved into a critical spirit. It’s essential to recognize that openly criticizing others can give bitterness power over your life. Bitterness ultimately hinders personal growth and our relationships.
How do we become bitter?
So Haman went out that day joyful and with a glad heart; but when Haman saw Mordecai in the king’s gate, and that he did not stand or tremble before him, he was filled with indignation against Mordecai.
— Esther 5:9 [NKJV]
Bitterness often arises when we let feelings of anger and prejudice, like racism, dictate our actions. Haman was an Agagite and a descendant of the Amalekites, who had a longstanding enmity toward the Jewish people. Haman’s deep-seated hatred for the Jews was fundamental to his grievances. Don’t be like Haman, consumed by hatred. Avoid allowing hatred to consume you, which can lead to disastrous outcomes.
So, Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father blessed him, and Esau said in his heart, “The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob.”
— Genesis 27:41 [NKJV]
Resentment towards others who seemingly receive God’s blessings can lead to bitterness. It’s essential to recognize that healing often requires time. In some cases, this bitterness can escalate to intense emotions, including thoughts of harming others. The common saying that “time heals all wounds” holds some truth. Yet, healing sometimes requires shifting our focus away from the source of our pain. A notable example of this is the story of Esau. Over time, he experienced a change of heart. He chose not to harm his brother.
What should we do about bitterness?
God identifies bitterness as “a great sin.” He calls us to “get rid of bitterness.” You can take heart, knowing that overcoming it is possible. It is within our reach. The first step in this journey is recognizing and admitting that bitterness is a problem. Embracing this acknowledgment opens the door to healing and transformation.
Turn from this great wickedness and pray. Perhaps God will yet forgive your evil thoughts— for I can see that there is jealousy and sin in your heart.”
— Acts 8:22-23 [TLB]
Bitterness takes root in our hearts with a single thought. Consider Simon the sorcerer, who was consumed by jealousy when he saw the miraculous healing performed by the apostles. But Peter rebuked him and told Simon to forsake his jealousy and pray for forgiveness. Proverbs 28:13 [TLB] reminds us, “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never find success. But those who confess and let go of their wrongs are granted another chance.” So, earnestly pray for God’s grace to help you remove bitterness and embrace freedom from it.
